This past weekend I did something Completely Stupid And Utterly Pointless. Literally. I attended an F3 event known as a CSAUP. The definition of CSAUP, according to the F3 Lexicon, is: Difficult, dirty and dangerous Events that build Trust between Team Members.
In the few years that I have been working out in F3 I have been to around a dozen CSAUPs. Almost every CSAUP I have ever been to has followed the same format: It kicks off around 5AM, you work out for 20-30 minutes, then run a mile or so, and do this on repeat for 3 or 4 (or 5!) hours. I usually try to attend 3 or 4 of these events per year. So while this was not my first CSAUP event, it was probably the most difficult.
I Really Enjoy These Events
I may not be a strong runner, and I get worn down by the workouts, but I love the challenge. It is a great time of fellowship and comradery with the men around you. There is something about shared misery that makes men bond.
I Hated This CSAUP
This event was different. From the very beginning we were using weights of some sort, and we did that more and more as we went. We had bricks, concrete blocks, full beer kegs, and truck tires. We even had sets of logs that were chained together end-to-end. At the beginning we were split into 2 teams, and every workout was structured like a team competition.
What Was The Problem?
This CSAUP was basically a miniature GoRuck or GrowRuck event, and I am not a fan of those. As the morning went on, my frustration levels grew until finally reaching the point that I knew I needed to leave. And so I did. Two hours into a three hour event, at what we refer to as the “pre-vac point” (where we get back to the vehicles for the guys that need to leave early), I hit the road. Until that moment, I had never left a CSAUP early.
I told myself that I was leaving so that I wouldn’t get injured*, and that everyone else leaving was just as frustrated as I was. But that afternoon I kept seeing message after message from the guys at the event talking about how great it was and how much they enjoyed it. I remember thinking “Were these guys even at the same event I was?”
I Was The Problem
After a good bit of soul searching I finally realized that the only thing wrong with this CSAUP was my attitude. Because I didn’t like the things we were doing. It was unexpected. It was out of the norm of what we were “supposed” to be doing at a CSAUP (in my mind). It wasn’t what I wanted to do, and it wasn’t something that I enjoyed. I spent so much time focusing on what I didn’t like about the event that I couldn’t enjoy the challenge and put forth my best effort.
The truth is, this event exposed my weaknesses, both physical and mental. It put me in an unknown, uncomfortable situation and I didn’t like it. While I did need to be careful with my forearms*, I probably could have finished this event and been ok, I just didn’t want to. I almost always stick to bodyweight workouts, so working with heavy objects for 3 hours is not something I am conditioned for. This CSAUP showed me that I need to toughen up, both physically and mentally.
“When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”
Victor Frankl
I Failed
Getting frustrated, giving up, and getting in my car and leaving should not have been the route I took. I failed myself, and I need to work at getting better so that I don’t fail next time. In hindsight, there are three things that I should have done when I started getting frustrated.
- Check My Ego – This event wasn’t about me, or what I wanted to do, and I let my ego get the better of me. Instead of focusing on what I didn’t like, I should have focused on doing the best I could.
- Embrace The Suck – Things are not always going to go how you want them to, whether it’s a fitness event, work, family, or life. Being able to be recognize this, acknowledge it, and get through it a big part of life.
- Find The Challenge – Instead of getting frustrated because we were doing things I didn’t like, I should have seen this event as a new and different challenge, and tried to push myself to see how well I could do.
Had I actually done these things, I probably would have had a more enjoyable time.
Next time I will be better.
*I have a weird nerve issue in both forearms which really gets agitated when working out with concrete blocks the way we do in F3. It’s something about the way I have to position my wrists to grip the block that gets really, really painful for me and can sometimes take a couple of weeks to get over, so I typically avoid these types of workouts. I can do things like pushups and pullups with no issues, but there is just something about gripping that concrete block that causes problems for me.